Courtesy ASME’s Affinity Partner, American Management Association (AMA)

Are you a communications laggard? That’s an industry term to describe professionals who perform well in most work areas but lag behind in their communication skills. If that sounds like you, you're not alone. In fact, a recent report in The Wall Street Journal noted that the single most prevalent reason people fail to advance in their careers is lack of good communication skills.

For people in the middle -- like assistants, who have to serve as liaison between their bosses and other staff members -- this task is all the more important -- and difficult.

Communication Culprits

There are several signs you can use to spot or gauge whether you or others are blocking the communications process:

Ambiguous body language. Words never override body language. Remember, when you communicate, it’s not just the words that convey a message, it’s what media experts call the composite you. This composite takes into account all elements of your body language. For example, if you stand with your back half-turned to someone, if you constantly avert your eyes, if your head is lowered, or if you look like you're about to walk away, your body language is sending a signal that you're not interested in having a conversation.

Silence is golden. The next time you have a conversation with a co-worker, make a mental note of how many times you're silent. When you do this, you're allowing for feedback. Periodic silence lets people ask questions; acknowledge that they understand what you're saying, and offer ideas of their own.

Speaking too fast. This is one of the most common communication barriers. Conversely, a slow rate of speech implies well-chosen words and underscores the importance of the message you're conveying. Addressing people in an unhurried manner also gives the listener time to absorb what’s been said so that they can formulate an appropriate response.

Talking with toys. Do you fidget with pens, scratch you head, strum your fingers, or clear your throat when you're talking with someone? These mannerisms may be unconscious, but they can be quite distracting to others, who may even take you less seriously.

Making eye contact. When you make eye contact, you're telling the other person that you're interested in them, hat you think they're important, and that you want to hear what they have to say. Conversely, withholding eye contact is an invisible barrier that makes you seem unapproachable.

Avoiding over speak. Aristotle said, "Think as the wise do, but speak as the common do." Over-intellectualizing, or speaking in esoteric terms, only serves to alienate people and can in fact obscure your message. If others look baffled every time you open your mouth, you may be guilty of using over speak, a communication barrier that’s sure to send people running to the hills, or at least to the nearest dictionary.

Interrupting. People who cut others off in mid-sentence not only send a callous message ("I really don't care about what you're saying"), they also cut themselves out of the communication process. Remember that communication is a two-way street, and we learn more from listening than from talking.

Communication Conductors

Media guru Roger Ailes, author of the communication cult classic You Are The Message, says that people should strive to listen 60 to 70 percent of the time and talk 30 to 40 percent. He offers the following tips for becoming a better listener:

• Relax and clear your mind so that you're receptive to what’s being said.
• Never assume that you've heard correctly just because the first few words have taken you in a certain direction.
• Don't overreact emotionally to speakers' words or ideas, especially those that are contrary to your views.
• Before forming a conclusion, let the speaker complete his or her thoughts.
• Listen for intent as well as content.
• Try to listen without overanalyzing.
• Remember that human communication goes through three phases: reception (listening), processing (analyzing), and transmission (speaking).
• Being a good communicator is a natural skill for only a few people. Most of us have to work at being good communicators and learn to observe not only how we speak and listen, but also what kinds of unspoken messages we send to our colleagues.